Because It's Honesty and Intuition are Incredibly Powerful

Day #13 of the #loveyourbodychallenge from Molly Galbraith of GirlsGoneStrong.

Reason #13 to Love My Body:  Because It's Honesty and Intuition are Incredibly Powerful

I first read this from Molly and laughed.  Honest and intuitive?  My body??  My body that craves chips and pretzels and coffee and chocolate covered espresso beans straight from Seattle???  Uh huh... Yeah, right!!!  But, then I started thinking about it.  And realized that Molly is absolutely right.  My BODY is incredibly honest and intuitive.  My BODY knows what it needs, whether that is exercise, rest, or proper nutrition.  And when I give it what it wants (good stuff in), it responds well (good stuff out) with a good mindset, muscles, and proper digestion.

Where I think the problem lies is that our BODIES know what they want, but our BRAINS get in the way.  Have you ever been running or lifting and thought to yourself, "I can't do that..."  It's not your body that gets in the way usually.  It's your mind that convinces you that you can't.  I can't count the number of times that my mind told me that I couldn't go that far... that I couldn't lift that much... that I couldn't possibly run that fast.  And it wasn't until my first bonk that I truly understood what CAN'T meant.  (Interested?  Read that blog entry....)  I'm pretty sure that my body doesn't crave chips.  It craves the salt, because the salt makes me drink more water.  So really my craving for chips is a craving for water, showing myself that I'm dehydrated.  My body is giving my brain the correct information that I need hydration.  And my brain is sending the message that it has LEARNED will get it water: make her eat salty foods and the water will come.  Is that my body sending the wrong message?  Nope... it's my brain that has learned that messages of THIRSTY NOW will be repeatedly ignored.  So, my brain sends out an incorrect message deliberately to get the body what it wants.  A small example of something that I have intuited over the years.  And this is true with sleep (think caffeine), exercise (grouchiness), and sweet cravings (fruit is way better than candy).  Teaching your brain to interpret the messages of your body is about trusting the body and listening to it, rather than the conditioned messages from your brain.  Once you trust your body and listen to it's messages, those conditioned messages will change.

So how can you listen to your body and make sure that your brain is interpreting the messages correctly?  LOVE your body.  And TRUST it.  And be HONEST back with it.  It may take time, but YOU are absolutely worth it!

Train your mind for running, for lifting, for life.  Just TRAIN IT!

Because Your Relationship is Reciprocal

Day #12 of the #loveyourbodychallenge from Molly Galbraith of GirlsGoneStrong.

Reason #12 to Love My Body:  Because Your Relationship is Reciprocal

I love this one because it's so true and because it's something that I think we've forgotten as a society.  As we create lots and lots and LOTS of artificial gunk to put in our food (from artificial sweeteners and colors to GMOs), we forget the old adage of "garbage in garbage out."

 I watched a fascinating episode of Cosmos last night with my family about evolution and how we have taken billions of years to evolve certain genetic dispositions.  And, as I listened to Neil de Grasse Tyson speak so eloquently, all I could think about was how the so called "modern diseases" have expanded so much over the past few decades and how our obesity epidemic is getting out of control.  And how much of that is caused by that "garbage in garbage out" philosophy.  Our bodies are not yet used to digesting and handling our way of life.  Eventually, I do believe that we will "garbage" ourselves into extinction.  Confused about what I mean?  Go watch Wall-E.  This is a scary representation of what humans could be sending themselves to in the future.  A world where we are morbidly obese riding around on cars all day long.  We are putting garbage such as artificial sweeteners and genetically modified foods into our bodies.  To compound the issue, the "fresh" stuff that we are getting isn't nearly as good for us as it used to be.  (See part one of this Paul Chek video series if you have some time...it's the first in a series of fascinating talks about why dirt is important.)  And the mental garbage that we feed ourselves is JUST as bad!!  I've spent the last few blogs talking about the disservice we do to ourselves in negative self talk and the "yeah buts.." and I'm not going further into it in this one.  But, that's MORE garbage in!!!

Now, I'm not immune to this.  I'm sitting here on my second latte (with splenda) of the day and enjoying myself.  I've had all sorts of things today that I would lump into the "garbage" category.  Worse, I'm not even putting any good exercise in.  (Yes...I consider sitting on my lazy ass at Starbucks part of the garbage in category.)  But, it's something I'm keenly aware of.  When I eat more fresh fruits, vegetables and lean natural proteins, my body feels better.  I have more energy and I enjoy life.  The more processed and bagged and boxed foods I eat, the more lethargic I feel and the worse I feel about myself.   And the worse I feel about myself, the more negative self talk I do.  And that leads to entire cycle of garbage in (physical, mental, emotional) and that's why I feel as yucky as I do some days.

So how do we break that cycle?  Pick one piece of garbage to THROW OUT!!!  And refuse to allow that garbage back in.  You could try to take all the garbage out at once but that might be a bit overwhelming!  So, create yourself a garbage bin (no recycle logos on it), and slowly pick things to get rid of.  It might be artificial sweeteners.  It might be cable TV or video games or even Facebook.  It might be that annoying person whose statuses just irk you the wrong way every time.  Whatever or whoever it is....THROW IT OUT!!!!  :)

NEED HELP?  Here's a pic to post on your fridge:

Because It Deserves It

Day #11 of the #loveyourbodychallenge from Molly Galbraith of GirlsGoneStrong.

Reason #11 to Love My Body:  Because It Deserves It

I think this is probably the hardest one for me to embrace so far.  I know that my body is strong and capable.  I know that my body is awesome and beautiful.  But loving my body simply because it is and because it deserves it is difficult.

I'm sure that there's lots of reasons that I deserve love and I can spout them off with the best of them.  But, sometimes, that just feels like lip service.  Knowing deep down and truly believing it is something completely different.  And something that I am still learning.   In fact, I could probably give you an amazingly long list of why my body is NOT deserving of love.  I'm too big.  I'm not pretty enough.  My abs aren't well defined.  I have funny looking toes.  I have had the same hairstyle since high school.  I couldn't care less about fashion sense.  I wear my pajamas to drop my kids off at school and to go shopping.  Yep -- I'm one of those.  But, the more I think about that, the more I realize that the reasons why NOT aren't mine: they are society's reasons.  And not a single one of those are a reason to dislike myself or my body.  They are somebody else's reasons to judge me.  And I refuse to live my life by someone else's standards.  I'm my own person -- and I'm fabulous.

I can read.  I can write.  I can type.  I can help others be their most amazing selves.  I have opinions about everything and I don't have a problem expressing those opinions.  I enjoy lifting.  I have a short attention span when it comes to planning.  I love coffee.  I love my friends.  I love my funky toes.  I have the most amazing curly hair.  I have quads that have been described as going on forever.  I have a c-section scar from where my daughters were born.  I have strong muscles and a smile for everyone.  I can stand up in front of thousands of people and not get stage fright.  I can speak eloquently in front of a CEO or exchange barbs with my friends.  There's lots of reasons for me to love my body.  And they are ALL MINE.  My own standards and my own beauty.  My own standards are the only ones that matter -- or the only ones that should.

Knowing it without a doubt every day though?  Still going to take time.

Because It's Unapologetically Strong

Day #10 of the #loveyourbodychallenge from Molly Galbraith of GirlsGoneStrong.

Reason #10 to Love My Body:  Because It's Unapologetically Strong

I threatened one of my clients with burpees this morning.  Know what she did?  She apologized for not doing an exercise perfectly on her first try.  Now, this particular client is in her early sixties and had leg surgery two weeks ago.  She's a trooper and almost always does anything I ask of her.  But, she also almost always whines about how terrible she is at it.  (And no, seriously....I wouldn't REALLY have made her do burpees.)

I threatened another one of my clients with burpees a few weeks ago.  Know what she did?  She told me that she knew that she was doing well, but that she knew she could do better.  And apologized.  To me!  For not coming in on her off days.

A weight loss turned strength client of mine recently commented that she wished she had super strong muscular legs like mine.  And I thanked her and immediately countered it with "and I wish I had abs like yours..."

I hear my clients and friends putting themselves down DAILY for things that they should be proud of.  Like hitting a PR or  losing two pounds over the past two weeks.  And I'm no stranger to this.  I don't think any of us are.  We have all been in that place where we are REALLY excited/proud/happy about something, and when someone comments on it, we immediately downplay it.  And why?  There isn't a reason except that women have been conditioned from youth to downplay a strength, whether that strength was mental or physical.  Somehow, I learned that smart women aren't liked.  Don't ask questions in class.  Don't show how smart you really are.  Don't always be the one to answer.  Certainly don't beat a boy in a physical contest?  Why the HELL not???

As girls, we are taught that kindness and giving and cooperation are where it is most important.  I am really good at sharing credit with others.  What I am NOT good at is explaining where I excel.  Because, for a long time, I didn't really think I excelled at anything.  I'm a "but..."  I'm good at a lot of things BUT I'm not great.  I'm a decent trainer but not fabulous.  I've lost a lot of weight but not THAT much.  I can deadlift a lot but not as much as others.  I recently (last weekend) hit a new bench PR of 105 pounds and I was ecstatic!  I had been working towards triple digits for awhile and it was HARD.  But, every time I thought about, I would think of a female friend of mine who benches well over 225 pounds.  Is she a beast?  Yep.  Is it fair to compare myself to her?  Nope.  Does it color my view of what I can do?  Yes.  And that's the problem.  My accomplishment was my accomplishment and even I downplayed it because I know someone who can do better.  Even when I received a compliment, I couldn't even just say thank you and move on.  I had to remind them how that really wasn't THAT awesome of an achievement.

One of my goals for the past few months has been to stop apologizing and stop with what I call the "buts."  I had recognized how often I put myself down and how often I apologized for things that I didn't need to apologize for.  I didn't call when I said I would?  Yes, apologize.  But the bananas are brown?  Yeah...not really something I need to apologize for.  Worst of all, I was starting sentences with "I know this is silly but....." or "I have this bizarre idea that...."  I could never just come out and say my idea or my thought.  I always prefaced it with a putdown, just in case the other person didn't like it, I had a way out.

BUT....I'm trying to catch myself in those now.  And it's hard.  REALLY HARD.  Because I never realized how often I was doing it until I started catching myself.  And then.... and then, I heard my daughter do it.  And. I. Was. Done.  I still have my slip up days, but they are getting further and further apart.  Which is good.

So... in conclusion, a list of amazing things that I am NOT SORRY for:

• my love of lifting
• my 200 pound deadlift
• my 105 pound bench press
• my two college degrees
• my personal training certification
• my insurance license
• winning any game I've ever won
• consistently kicking my husband's butt at Ruzzle
• my extensive vocabulary
• my love of grammar
• speaking two languages
• having finished in the top 30 of my graduating class of 860
• the 5 on my AP History test
• losing 50 pounds
• my ability to read LOTS of books quickly
• my interest in all things both nerdy and physical
• my fear of butterflies and moths
• my OCD
• my friendliness
• my enthusiasm
• my ability to look at the bright side of life (yes...I sang that in my head...get over it)
• my beautiful handwriting (both print and cursive)

I'd say that's a pretty long list of amazing things.  What is one thing that you are unapologetically strong about??

Because It's Awesome

Day 9 of the #loveyourbodychallenge from Molly Galbraith of GirlsGoneStrong.

Reason #9 to Love My Body:  Because It's Awesome!

Awesome is such a fun word.  In fact, it's one of my favorite words.  And the idea of training to be awesome is very much something I would like to embrace.  But awesome is also incredibly subjective.  Is training to be  awesome being able to win a powerlifting competition?  Is it training to have defined abs?  Is awesome sticking to my macros every single day?  I say a resounding HELL NO to all of these.  Training to be awesome is similar to strength and takes three components to do it: physical, mental, and emotional.

Physically, training to be awesome is about function.  Now, I realize that functional training to some people is  trying to stand on a BOSU ball and lift weights.  I've seen that version of functional training and it never quite looks functional to me.  I can't figure out when on earth I would ever need that skill.  To me, functional training to be awesome is about taking the training I do in the gym and applying it to every day life.  To complete the task of laundry in my house, it requires repetitive squats to pick up all the clothes that don't make it into the basket INTO the basket.  It requires a deadlift to pick up the basket.  Endurance to carry that basket down two flights of stairs.  Lots of twisting to get the laundry from the washer to the dryer.  More deadlifting and endurance to get the laundry from the basement back up the two flights of stairs.  And then more endurance to put it all away.  Am I exaggerating a little?  Maybe.... but for a good point.  I don't ever want to be that person who is so muscle-bound that I don't have the flexibility to reach back for a seatbelt in a car.  At the same time, I don't want to be so weak that I can't pick up my kids.  And I definitely want to keep racing my kids!  To do that, my training has to mirror what I want it to do.  Have I gotten that figured out yet?  Nope.  But, it's continually being refined every step of the way.

Mentally and emotionally, training to be awesome is about mindset and learning to appreciate life.  Somewhere and somewhen in my life, my relationship with food and diet got very messed up.  I learned that foods were "good" and "bad."  I counted macros and points and weighed every morsel that went into my mouth.  If I didn't know the nutrition facts, it quite simply didn't get eaten.  Now, this can be an excellent way to lose weight and get that "look" that people always want.  But, emotionally for me, it was one of the unhealthiest, least awesome ways to train that I know.  Counting points and counting macros has left me with an even worse relationship with food.  Definitely NOT training for awesomeness.  So for me, for today, this is my focus of awesome.  Learning to eat for enjoyment and learning to not stress about everything that I consume.

Am I already awesome?  Yes.  Can I train to improve on my already fabulous awesomeness?  Absolutely.  And because awesome is ALWAYS one of my favorite words...I shall leave you with the epitome of awesome.

Because It Can Move

Day 8 of the #loveyourbodychallenge from Molly Galbraith of GirlsGoneStrong.

Reason #8 to Love My Body:  Because It Can Move

Here I am, a quarter of the way through the Love My Body challenge and already I am feeling stronger and more mentally and emotionally capable of tackling challenges than I was a week ago.  I have heard from friends and family that, in addition to happiness at seeing me blog again, that I am making a difference in others' lives as well.  Which was the whole point of doing this publicly.  So, please continue with me on my journey to a happier, healthier mental place where I am able to enjoy myself just as I am!

For as long as I can remember, my mother has complained of pain.  Whether that was pain in her foot or pain from her fibromyalgia, she does not go through a day without intense and sometimes debilitating physical pain.  It is painful for her to merely walk around the grocery store, much less enjoy the arts festivals that she loves.  It is painful for her to stay in one position or to move around.  She has had more shots to help relieve pain than I can count.  I love my mother deeply and it is difficult to see her in so much pain.  I try to sympathize and I try to understand.  But, the reality is that I can't.  I cannot empathize or even come close to comprehending what it would be like to have pain with every movement of my body.  I am one of the fortunate ones.  And sometimes it is easy to take that freedom of movement for granted.

Because I can sit on the couch without pain.  I can wander around an arts festival or walk to the park with my kids.  I can drive myself to work and back.  I can dance with my husband.  I am fortunate that I can carry two loads of laundry from the basement to the second floor without experiencing pain.  I can hike around a national or state park without needing to worry about handrails and whether or not I will be out of commission for the rest of the day.  Deadlifting and bench pressing and squatting are fun for me.   Racing my daughter to the school doors every day is something that I treasure.  I can play volleyball and feel the sand in my toes.  Even just the pure motion of stretching is cathartic.

I very frequently take all this movement for granted.  And I shouldn't.  My mom pushes herself to do both the most mundane and the most amazing things while in pain and I admire both the mental and physical strength to get through that.  While I hope that I won't ever have to endure that kind of pain, I know that my mom will be the person I will look to for the courage and conviction to guide my way.

Because It Can Experience Pleasure

Day 7 of the #loveyourbodychallenge from Molly Galbraith of GirlsGoneStrong.

Reason #7 to Love My Body:  Because It Can Experience Pleasure

Haha!  There is so much fun to be had with this topic, but I think I'll keep it clean (mostly).  My body experiences pleasure through all five of my senses: the smell of brewing coffee, the taste of chocolate, the sight of the sky as it turns to blue in the morning, the feel of a barbell between my hands, the sound of my children's laughter.  There are so many ways that I get to experience the pure bliss of sensation that I mostly take them all for granted.  Today's mission is to write down a list of my pleasures (big and small, simple and complex) that I get to enjoy!  I'm going to enjoy by sense...

I have the pleasure of seeing smiles.  I have the pleasure of seeing where I'm walking.  I get to enjoy the sight of a sunrise, a sunset.  I can see to put weights on my barbells.  I have the sheer immense pleasure of reading a book.  I am fortunate enough that my eyes can see to drive myself anywhere, which gives me freedom.  Seeing pictures and being able to know that the words that I type are correct is something that I take for granted.  I can see to swype on my phone and read a text.  I can read and get lost in the internet on a variety of very silly sites.

I have the pleasure of hearing my alarm clock in the morning (so I'm not late).  I have the pleasure of hearing fabulous songs on the radio.  I have the pleasure of hearing someone say "I love you."  I have the pleasure of hearing all the fun sounds of summer like lawnmowers and crickets in the summer.  I can hear the patter of rain or the blowing of snow on the roof during weather.  I get to hear thunder even if it scares me!  I can hear all the songs of One Direction blaring from my daughter's room (and be thankful that it isn't Justin Bieber).  I can joyfully hear myself complain about the loud music emanating from my daughter's bedroom.  I can hear people to talk endlessly on the phone.

I have the pleasure of tasting a deliciously crafted latte from Starbucks.  I have the pleasure of tasting some amazing homemade marinara sauce.  I know what a Snickers bar tastes like.  I can taste fruit and fish and chicken and doughnuts and know the difference between all of these things!  I can eat for pleasure and not just for sustenance.  I can taste rain and snow and sunshine!  I can taste when something is off and know not to eat it!

I have the pleasure of smelling some beautiful perfume.  I can smell a spring day when the flowers are blooming.  I can smell cut grass.  I can smell the hard work of dirty sweaty clothes.  I can smell cookies baking and sauce cooking and chocolate.  I can smell the salt lick of the ocean and the cool mountain air of the trees.  I have the pleasure of knowing the smells of winter, spring, summer and fall.  I can smell peanut butter and freshly made ice cream.  I can smell coffee brewing.  I can smell espresso brewing.  Have I mentioned coffee yet?

I have the pleasure of feeling silk and lace and all those happy girly feels of beautiful clothes on my body.  I have the pleasure of feeling sand in my toes on the beach.  I have the pleasure of hugs and kisses.  I have the pleasure of the best hugs on the planet from my family.  I have the pleasure of knowing the difference between a hug hello, a hug goodbye, and a hug of comfort.  And they are all distinctly different.  I have the pleasure of feeling the spark that ignites when you touch someone special for the first time.  I am distinctly fortunate to have that feeling every day with the man I married.  I have the pleasure of feeling someone play with my hair and touch me in all the romantic ways he knows I love.  I have the pleasure of feeling the delicious cold of snow and the fall of rain and the grass beneath my feet in summer.  And today, I had the pleasure of feeling a barbell between my hands and knowing the feeling of strength.

So yeah, I can experience pleasure...in all sorts of amazing ways.  Even ways I take for granted on a daily basis.