Epiphany

I've been running for four months...and in that time, I've gone from barely being able to run five minutes without being winded to an 8 mile outdoor run with light hills.  And I've taken four minutes off my PR for my mile.  (I'm actually really really sure I've taken more off but I wasn't calculating data earlier than that one...)  And, I'm officially signed up to run the Cap City Half on May 6.

But, over the past week or so, I've been very frustrated with my (perceived) lack of progress.  The first run I did at Sharon Woods kicked my butt so hard I couldn't finish it and my interval runs have been very very inconsistent.  And I still couldn't tell that I was getting any faster....and I started to doubt myself that I could even run a half in the time I wanted or beat Mike in that 5k.  And somewhere this week, I had an epiphany about all that.

I needed to stop whining about how I couldn't do it and focus on why I could.  I realized that I wasn't going to get faster if I didn't PRACTICE being faster.  I realized that part of the reason for intervals is so that my body builds up to learning how to go that speed.  And the reason for the long runs isn't just to go faster each time...it's to build up my body's tolerance to that distance for a run.  So, this week, I stopped focusing on the races and started focusing where I should have been focusing in the first place -- on being a better runner.  I concentrated on my breathing, focused really hard on keeping the attitude in a positive direction, and was able to go out and kick that trail's butt and complete consistent runs with what I had planned. 

Most of all, I learned that my motivation and drive have to come from within.  To get better, I have to believe that I am already better.  I have to have confidence in myself and know ultimately that nobody else can achieve my goals for me.  To continue to inspire others, I have to continue to inspire myself.