Bagels, Pizza, and New York

My mother and grandmother tell the story at every family gathering of how I met my husband.  I realize that may seem a little odd since it's usually the couple's story to tell.  But, each of them remembers the phone call that I made to my mom just after I met the man I would eventually marry:

Me: Do you know where Lynbrook is?

Mom: Yes..... why?

Me: I'm dating this guy who grew up there.

Mom: It's about twenty minutes from your grandmother.

Me: Wow... what a small world.

Almost 19 years later, I look forward to our annual family trip to New York with relish and trepidation.  I love Long Island and I love the city.  I love the culture and the busy pace and being able to relax with my extended family.  I love the friends I only see once a year.  I love that 9:30 is considered early.  I love the crazy drivers and crazy accents.  I love that the expectations are high and how everyone seems so well educated and cultured.  And I love that I get to experience foods that just don't exist anywhere else in the country: bagels, pizza, cheesecake, diner mozzarella sticks, and my mother-in-law's fabulous Italian cooking.  Think bagels are the same no matter where you are?  Ask your average New Yorker?  They'll tell you exactly why you are wrong and then they will feed you a New York bagel and you will never look at a bagel package the same way again.

But those same fabulous foods are always the reason for my trepidation.  Because I always indulge and I always come home at least a few pounds heavier.  Worse, I always feel guilty and ashamed about not having followed "the plan."

I always start out my vacation with the best of intentions.  I make myself plans and rules and promises for the trip: no bagels, limit the pizza, only eat the protein sources, join a gym, go running every day.   I even remember one year where I brought my egg cooker, protein powder, and verified with my mother in law that I could use her blender.  (Yes...I'm even eye rolling at myself.)  No matter what though, I have ALWAYS fallen back on the yummy habits of  the past. Fresh bagels and cream cheese for breakfast. Two slices of New York pizza.  Italian cookies from Whistle Stop.  Carvel Ice Cream.  My mother-in-law's amazing cooking.  And every single year, I come home heavier, feeling guilty and ashamed of how terribly I've eaten and how spectacularly I failed at my plans and rules and promises.

But not this year.

This year, I'm of a new mindset. Expecting perfection out of myself is ridiculous. Creating unreasonable rules and plans and promises is only a set-up for spectacular failure.  Instead, I'm forgoing erroneous and arbitrary rules in favor of moderation.    I'm going to appreciate the bagels and pizza and diner mozzarella sticks.  I'm going to relish homemade meatballs and ribs and pasta yumminess.  I'm going to savor the vanilla ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles from Carvel.  Why?  Because in the bigger picture, they are an incredibly small indulgence.  I'm not going to scarf them down because I can.  I will appreciate, relish, and savor each bite with gratitude.

Healthy for my physique?  Surprisingly, yes.  

By enjoying my indulgences, I stop the downward spiral of shame and guilt that accompanies them.  For me, that spiral usually has me hunting more junk food in a fit of self-recrimination and loathing.  But, instead of feeling hatred and reaching for more of what made me feel that way, I can accept that I'm indulging and do so with moderation.  I know that that moderate indulgence prevents that bigger binge in the future.  I understand that giving myself some grace and trust allows me to be able to enjoy those foods without guilt and without recrimination.  Best of all, I'm able to actually ENJOY the foods that I love. 

And when I go home a few pounds heavier, it will be with a happy belly and a peaceful heart.

Mmmmm... NY Pizza

and bagels....

Professional

Fitocracy published an article last week about 30 Fitness Professionals Under 30 who are changing the face of fitness.  These people are up and comers in the field and, for the most part, I agreed with their selections.  Women like Molly Galbraith, Nia Shanks, and Sohee Lee are all pioneers in women's fitness not just for their exercises, but in their work to help women love who they are.  They are about learning exercises and making ourselves stronger mentally and emotionally, not just physically.  Men such as Jon Goodman, Nick Tumminello, Greg Nuckols, and Chase Erwin.  Jon puts out two amazing websites (PTDC and Viralnomics) which help trainers learn about being a trainer.  Nick and Greg are all about the science of exercise.  Chase is a fitness competitor who trains others in mind as well as body.

However, as I read the article, a look of puzzlement crossed my face.  A fitness professional (to me) includes credentials such as a degree in fitness, a personal training certification, or other such education that can be passed on to others.  This person is someone I can look to as an expert in the field.  Whether man or woman, a fitness professional brings something more to the conversation than just a pretty face and rock solid abs.

While I am one hundred percent sure that each of the spotlighted individuals are more than a body in a picture, the article highlighted three women who were only listed as being worthy because they have won contests.  Not one of the men in the article was solely mentioned for winning at a powerlifting or bodybuilding competition, much less a beauty pageant.  I didn't see any men who were ONLY listed because of their prowess on the stage.  These women are clearly dedicated to their chosen profession and look amazing in their photos.  But, what message does it send to the users of Fitocracy?  Especially as these are the people that users are supposed to look to as experts and professionals.

It sends a clear message that the women in fitness are held to a standard of their physique.  Users of Fitocracy are usually new to fitness and looking for expert information from the knowledge section of the site.  As a personal trainer, it saddens me to see the women in the fitness industry portrayed this way.  I have to believe that there are other women in fitness that are experts and under 30.  Women who have done more than win a beauty pageant or a bodybuilding competition.  Women who have a following on their website because they espouse a belief that a woman is more than ab definition; that a woman's self worth is not linked to her physique; that a woman should aspire to her own fabulousness rather than aspiring to be like someone else.  Women who have credentials as fitness experts.

Women in the fitness industry such as Molly Galbraith, Jill Coleman, Jen Sinkler, and Neghar Fonooni publish blogs on an almost daily basis about loving yourself for who you are, not attempting to reach the standard of a fitness model.  And every single one of these women has at least a training certification.

Women today are inundated with pictures of the ideal -- websites, fitspiration, magazines, television, movies, music.  It's ubiquitous.  More spotlighting of the "perfect" is unnecessary and defeating.  Spotlight the innovators.  Show us the women providing a message of self-worth unconnected to physique.  Highlight the professionals who teach us that we deserve to be more than an image on a screen.