Because It's Strong

Day 3 of the #loveyourbodychallenge from Molly Galbraith of GirlsGoneStrong.

Reason #3 to Love My Body:  Because It's Strong

Strength.  This is a word that holds deep meaning for me on many levels.  Molly has asked us today to write down how we demonstrate strength -- physically, mentally, and emotionally.  And even just writing about it is difficult.  I'm not sure why this particular topic has been difficult to convey.  I know that I am strong in all of these ways, but forcing myself to accept it and make it public has been different.

I was recently called out for not having accomplished much in my lifting over the past two years.  And, while I agreed that I haven't put all of my efforts forth on that, I was disappointed and frustrated that a mentor would not have seen the progress I had made.  When I started lifting two years ago, I had to take twenty minutes to be able to even believe that I could deadlift 175 pounds.  It took more mental convincing than physical strength to pull that off the ground.  When I hit my 200 pound PR in December, there was nobody more convinced than I was that I could do it.  When I started lifting two years ago, I was unafraid of squats.  I happily just kept doing them wrong until I got hurt and taken completely out of exercise for four months.  Now, I know that my squats need work.  And I've spent the last year working with numerous coaches on improving that form.  Is it perfect?  Nope.  Will it ever be?  Nope.  But, I'm working on it and I have the confidence to continue trying.  The last two years have shown a huge increase in strength -- it just wasn't completely physical.

It was partially mental.  I had to learn to have the confidence in myself to do something physical.  I have never had a doubt in myself that I had mental strength.  I am a smart woman who can accomplish anything that I put my mind to.  Some people may look at this as bragging, but I've never failed a big test.  From SATs (1620) to teaching certification (passed with distinction) to notary (100%) to insurance licensure (three weeks to a passing score) to my NASM personal training certification (passed on the first time), mental strength is not something I lack.  But, I had to learn to have confidence in myself physically and really believe that I could do these physical things.  Even someone I used to train with said that confidence was all I really needed to get much better at my squat.  And that brings me back to the hardest won strength of all.

Emotional strength.  Emotional strength has been the biggest struggle over the last five years.  Being strong enough to accept that I hated my job.  Being strong enough to admit that a lifestyle change needed to happen to be healthier.  Being strong enough to take responsibility for some exceptionally bad decisions on my part and work through the consequences of those actions.  Being strong enough to say goodbye to the negative influences in my life.  This continues to be the strength that needs the most work.  But my biggest act of emotional strength happened almost a year ago, when I accepted the challenge to be honest and admit a problem existed.  Without the strength to answer honestly, I would not be in a position to write this blog today.  Without the strength to pick up the phone and admit that I needed help, my life would have been over as I knew it.  Without the strength and conviction to trust in the person who matters most to me, I would no longer have that person in my life.

So maybe my physical strength hasn't improved as much as it could have over the past two years, but the mental and emotional gains were so much more significant in the long run.  Because, now, I'm strong enough to be myself.  And I'm proud of that.