Because It's Unapologetically Strong

Day #10 of the #loveyourbodychallenge from Molly Galbraith of GirlsGoneStrong.

Reason #10 to Love My Body:  Because It's Unapologetically Strong

I threatened one of my clients with burpees this morning.  Know what she did?  She apologized for not doing an exercise perfectly on her first try.  Now, this particular client is in her early sixties and had leg surgery two weeks ago.  She's a trooper and almost always does anything I ask of her.  But, she also almost always whines about how terrible she is at it.  (And no, seriously....I wouldn't REALLY have made her do burpees.)

I threatened another one of my clients with burpees a few weeks ago.  Know what she did?  She told me that she knew that she was doing well, but that she knew she could do better.  And apologized.  To me!  For not coming in on her off days.

A weight loss turned strength client of mine recently commented that she wished she had super strong muscular legs like mine.  And I thanked her and immediately countered it with "and I wish I had abs like yours..."

I hear my clients and friends putting themselves down DAILY for things that they should be proud of.  Like hitting a PR or  losing two pounds over the past two weeks.  And I'm no stranger to this.  I don't think any of us are.  We have all been in that place where we are REALLY excited/proud/happy about something, and when someone comments on it, we immediately downplay it.  And why?  There isn't a reason except that women have been conditioned from youth to downplay a strength, whether that strength was mental or physical.  Somehow, I learned that smart women aren't liked.  Don't ask questions in class.  Don't show how smart you really are.  Don't always be the one to answer.  Certainly don't beat a boy in a physical contest?  Why the HELL not???

As girls, we are taught that kindness and giving and cooperation are where it is most important.  I am really good at sharing credit with others.  What I am NOT good at is explaining where I excel.  Because, for a long time, I didn't really think I excelled at anything.  I'm a "but..."  I'm good at a lot of things BUT I'm not great.  I'm a decent trainer but not fabulous.  I've lost a lot of weight but not THAT much.  I can deadlift a lot but not as much as others.  I recently (last weekend) hit a new bench PR of 105 pounds and I was ecstatic!  I had been working towards triple digits for awhile and it was HARD.  But, every time I thought about, I would think of a female friend of mine who benches well over 225 pounds.  Is she a beast?  Yep.  Is it fair to compare myself to her?  Nope.  Does it color my view of what I can do?  Yes.  And that's the problem.  My accomplishment was my accomplishment and even I downplayed it because I know someone who can do better.  Even when I received a compliment, I couldn't even just say thank you and move on.  I had to remind them how that really wasn't THAT awesome of an achievement.

One of my goals for the past few months has been to stop apologizing and stop with what I call the "buts."  I had recognized how often I put myself down and how often I apologized for things that I didn't need to apologize for.  I didn't call when I said I would?  Yes, apologize.  But the bananas are brown?  Yeah...not really something I need to apologize for.  Worst of all, I was starting sentences with "I know this is silly but....." or "I have this bizarre idea that...."  I could never just come out and say my idea or my thought.  I always prefaced it with a putdown, just in case the other person didn't like it, I had a way out.

BUT....I'm trying to catch myself in those now.  And it's hard.  REALLY HARD.  Because I never realized how often I was doing it until I started catching myself.  And then.... and then, I heard my daughter do it.  And. I. Was. Done.  I still have my slip up days, but they are getting further and further apart.  Which is good.

So... in conclusion, a list of amazing things that I am NOT SORRY for:

• my love of lifting
• my 200 pound deadlift
• my 105 pound bench press
• my two college degrees
• my personal training certification
• my insurance license
• winning any game I've ever won
• consistently kicking my husband's butt at Ruzzle
• my extensive vocabulary
• my love of grammar
• speaking two languages
• having finished in the top 30 of my graduating class of 860
• the 5 on my AP History test
• losing 50 pounds
• my ability to read LOTS of books quickly
• my interest in all things both nerdy and physical
• my fear of butterflies and moths
• my OCD
• my friendliness
• my enthusiasm
• my ability to look at the bright side of life (yes...I sang that in my head...get over it)
• my beautiful handwriting (both print and cursive)

I'd say that's a pretty long list of amazing things.  What is one thing that you are unapologetically strong about??